So I'm extremely frustrated with things going on in my life right now. I don't know why I let them get to me so much, especially since they seem so small compared to some of the things happening in other people's lives and lives around the world. It just feels like every time I try to get something accomplished I hit a brick wall. I think I'm going to create a little story here. It feels like I'm in a city and I'm walking down the street towards something I want really badly or that I think is the thing I should be wanting right now. Something that I think is a good thing to be working for. All of the sudden, I'm in a dark alley way smack dab up against a brick wall that is maybe 8 feet tall. I think to myself "Ok, so this isn't the path. What else is a good thing to work for?" I'm trying to be upbeat and think, ok, this is obviously not the thing to be working for right now so let's work on something else. So I chart another course, figuring out the directions to get where I want in my head. Suddenly I turn around and BAM!! There's another brick wall. Ok, let's go a different way since there seems to be a brick wall in front of and behind me. I turn to the side and BAM! There's yet another brick wall. Before I know it, I'm in this tiny room surrounded by 8 foot walls on each side. Now, I have a strong testimony of the gospel which is why I am trying to keep an upbeat attitude about all of this. So I'm trying really hard not to get frustrated. I'm used to getting my way and getting my way when I want it. I've been pondering for a while what would be the reason for all of this happening and I think that maybe I'm just supposed to move this wall one brick at a time. I really think I'm supposed to be learning patience at this juncture. I'm also learning that even though I don't want to have a 'why me' attitude or be angry at the things that are happening that I'm human. It's ok to be frustrated with what's happening to me. It's ok to be confused. If anything, it's making me communicate with the Lord more fervently and more often than I normally would. I'm getting the same answers so I guess I need to figure out a way to climb that 8 foot wall and get over it, because even though the wall is there, the Lord wants me on the other side.
Some of you may be like, WHOA!! Where did this come from?!?! I've found that by writing things down they make me feel better. But sharing these things with just myself isn't helping anything. So I'm hoping that maybe by sharing these things with the people I love the most maybe someone else will get something out of this too.
5 years ago
